Think of the Children
[2006-07-31 14:10]
Justice Barbara A. Madsen, rationalizing the law, states:
...the legislature was entitled to believe that limiting marriage to opposite-sex couples furthers procreation, essential to survival of the human race, and furthers the well-being of children by encouraging families where children are reared in homes headed by the children�s biological parents. Allowing same-sex couples to marry does not, in the legislature�s view, further these purposes. Accordingly, there is no violation of the privileges and immunities clause.
Madsen went on to state that other things that do not further procreation or do not encourage families where children are reared by their biological parents are soon to be on the chopping block. Some examples given include:
- Divorce -- what part of "Until death do us part" do you not understand?
- Death of a spouse -- allowing one's spouse to die prevents one's children from being raised by both biological parents. Thus, becoming widowed will soon be illegal. The surviving parent will be assessed a fine and will be banned from remarrying, if any children from the first marriage survive.
- Adoption -- children cannot be raised by non-biological parents. It's just not possible. Thus, if a child's parents both die, the child must also be put down. It's the humane thing to do.
- Gummy Bears -- contrary to popular belief, gummy bears do not further procreation and do not encourage children to be raised by their biological parents. Hence, they must be eliminated.
- Abstinence -- because the survival of the human race is at stake, Madsen encourages married couples to "fuck early; fuck often".